Letters From The Heart
by Salvatore Shan NW
Summary: A bunch of love letters from the Inuyasha cast. Involves replies and yes they have stories. I tried to keep them short and incharacter. Please read!
1. Kagome

**Letters From The Heart  
**One

* * *

Uh… this is a letter I wrote but it's from Kagome's point of view. She's writing some kind of 'letter from the heart' to Inuyasha. I hope it's all right. This is probably gonna be a series of letters. I'll do a reply one from Inuyasha or something.  
_Their _and _them _represents Sango, Miroku and Shippo if it isn't obvious. _She _is Kikyo.

Kagome's writing this letter as if Inuyasha were interviewing her or something… as if he were asking her questions. It was sort of like he'd asked her the questions earlier and she was thinking back to them. I hope it isn't too weird. Review please!

* * *

Run Away

Why do I always run away? I thought you knew by now. I thought… well every time you meet up with them and they tell you I'm gone… well I thought the answer would remain clear. But, as it is, you're blind. Even having it spelled out in front of you.  
The truth…  
I don't leave to get rid of you. I don't leave because I hate you. I need my privacy, I'm a girl – I don't have to stay with you twenty-four seven, do I? But that's not the only reason… it's not _just_ that. There's more.

I did it again today. I know when you're furious, because you don't leave me alone for long. Which is why you can't deny the fact that you miss me. If you didn't miss me, why would you follow me? What's wrong with _their_ company?

Not a minute's peace. I don't get that from you. I don't have the honour. But. _With_ you. Being with you is relaxing – provided our hours are kept villain-free. It's fun – me and you.  
_That's_ why I run away. So you can follow me. So we can be together and have that privacy. Just the two of us.

No interruptions. Except you don't see it that way. You think I take off to annoy you. Is that just you? Or do all boys think like that? I thought you knew by now how I feel. Isn't it obvious? Not that I drop hints… But _you_ sure do. Maybe not on purpose, but most of the time your feelings are written all over your face.

Huh? Why don't I tell you? Tell you what? Why don't I tell you I'm going back to my time…? Just in case. Just in case you don't follow me. Just in case something awful happens when I'm not around. No one would come and break the bad news to me. It's only you and I who can go through the well.

If something… say, if you _died_. Then it would be impossible for me to think that the last word I said to you was 'goodbye' or 'I'm going – SIT!'. I'd hate for us to part on an argument. Do you understand? No. I don't think you do.

Well, you _understand_ – but you don't _agree_. "Keh, nothing will happen to me!" That's your reaction. You're full of it. You always argue back at me – _always_. Still, I know you're afraid. But don't hide anything from me. I know you're scared that one day you'll hurt me or I'll hurt you – maybe one day I'll betray you. Just like _she_ did.  
But I promise you. I'll trust you till the day I die.

And trust isn't the only emotion I hold for you. The one that's most important is exactly the one you try to hide. We don't have to say it, we both know. But nothing's gonna happen between us unless we break this silence. But, this isn't speaking to you, is it? This is just a letter.

I won't cry. Why should I? There's no reason for me to. But I can feel these salty drops in my eyes and I'm laughing. Laughing, here and now. Do you know why? Because you're here. Or rather, downstairs.

You couldn't let me be gone long. Footsteps on the stairs that are like mini-earthquakes. You really do stomp too loud, you know? I don't care. I'll put this away before you see it. Because I'm not ready to give this to you yet. When I'm a little braver…

It's always going to be held off isn't it? So why don't I just let you read it?  
I can't. Not while standing here. What if you reject me? I couldn't–

Here. Read this and look back, if we're ever apart – look at this letter and think of me.  
Why? Because it tells you how I feel. Even if I don't say it out loud. Here are my feelings.  
I love you.

And you don't ever have to tell me, because I know you feel the same. I don't care if I'm second best, so long as I know you love me back.  
Here: I'll always be in writing. If we're ever separated. If anything ever happens. Nothing can keep us apart in our minds. Remember that.

Am I saying too much? I'm blabbering, damn it. You probably can't be bothered to read this trash anyway – you always were impatient. Smile.  
Thinking of you lights my face up, I don't know why – you just have this effect on me.

Why do I always run away? I don't hate you. It's a game, you see? I run, you chase. Sort of like a never-ending kiss chase where you'll never catch me. Na-na, na-na-na! Maybe _one_ _day_ you'll catch me. Maybe one day you'll get to kiss me. Game over. But we both win at the same time, understand?

Deep down… yes. Yes, you do. And I think that after reading this you'll be smiling too. Or blushing. I know it here in my heart.  
A thousand times over, I could write this letter with the three little words I think about when I see you. The words I can't form my mouth to speak. But isn't it obvious by now? You never were perceptive…

So all these words are screaming at you. Have you come to the conclusion yet? You may hate me for writing this down. You may hate yourself for keeping it. But no matter what we try to come up with, there's only one escape.  
Destiny brought us together. Deal with it.


	2. Inuyasha

**Letters From The Heart  
**Two

* * *

Inuyasha's reply letter to Kagome's. I'll try and keep it as in character as possible.

* * *

Kagome,  
Where do I start? The point is, what am I even writing for–? I don't _write_. And it's not like I'm going to give this to you in the end. Everything you know about me is a lie, _everything_. I've done things that you would _never_ forgive me for. So I can be totally different in this 'letter'. I might as well be writing to myself.

You want to know the first thing? You're right. After giving me that letter… I hated myself. But not in the way you think. I didn't reject you, did I? I may have stormed out… but that–  
God. You took it as rejection, right?

I was… confused. Upset. Angry. But not at you. At myself. I don't _deserve_ you.  
Inside, your words did make me smile. But not on the outside. You saw that. I could see your heart breaking, but you have it wrong – don't you get that?

What am I supposed to do to show you how much I care? If you know how I feel then why don't you _do_ something about it? Or rather, why don't _we_ do something about it? Why is it that whenever I see you alarm bells go off in my head?  
Why is it that I can't bring myself to do anything except get jealous and angry and do stupid stuff like… like pretending to be all macho and bigheaded?

Because it's just pretend. In the end, that's all it is. Inside I'm this little kid, right? A kid who had no past and has no future. Who watched his mummy die. There. In front of him. Just… burn out. She was getting so tired… I could see it happening, but I didn't _know_!

And there I was, Kagome. Just sat there, waiting for her to wake up and she never did. I knew the bad people would get me – they'd kick me out. And they did. I was the freak. I always will be. My own _brother_ even thinks so. And when my own flesh and blood thinks that… then what hope is there for me?

But I don't care what other people think. I've buried that little child inside of me – piling on top mounds of hate and anger and… 'and' what? _Evil_? After all I've done, I'm not evil. You know that.

Inside: I'm a paranoid, frightened little kid who just wants some attention. But I don't admit that, I know. Outside: I'm what everybody knows and what everybody sees. A man. Well. I pretend. I'm very good at pretending.  
I like to think I'm brave and cold-hearted and can just block out my past forever. But I can't.

I've been disowned and hated too many times for the scars to rub off. It hurts – deep down. But that's gradually healing. That's your doing. Thank you. If not for everything, then for that. You're making all the wrong fall away and you're revealing me – the _real_ me. And it feels so great to be free…

But what am I saying? You wouldn't understand, _couldn't_ understand. I won't let you, because I don't need sympathy. I don't need pity – I don't even have any pity for myself. I made myself what I am. That's the way it has to be.

And despite all you know about me you _still_ love me? Why? You haven't done anything to have someone like me thrust on you, so why put up with me? I don't blame you for taking off like you do – you don't need my permission, Sango was right. But… I like to know. It's nice to know that you're safe and not dead.

What would I do if you died? I don't know. _Honestly_. Probably surrender to the darkness. Or probably find another arrow and attach myself to a tree. Or perhaps just stay under water for a good half-an-hour… then maybe never come back up. Well, not without vengeance first. You can expect that of me, right?

And if I am forced to live without you… I'd think of you everyday. You were the only person that treated me like an equal after my mother died. And Miroku, Shippo and Sango only followed suit because they trusted you. You don't know what it means to me, to finally have friends. It… _hurts_.

It hurts in a good way. My insides seem to scream some sort of warning whenever I'm with you guys because somehow I know it's all going to end. But I won't let it. I want you to know that. Whatever happens, I won't let our friendship end.

Well, _our_ friendship – yours and mine…. well, what if we _let_ it end? What if we took it… took the next stage? Do you reckon that we'd survive it?  
You really don't know what you mean to me, do you? After reading this – if you ever will – you still won't understand it.

And I hope you know that you're not second best. Kikyo's dead. You're alive. End of discussion. Now I know you feel the same as me then it just spells it out for me, doesn't it? I'm not gonna throw my life away. That's not my style, remember? I never back down.

But choosing between you and Kikyo…? You should know that there's no _real_ fight, Kagome. You two – you're the same person, how do you expect me to choose? Well, I have now, and you don't have to worry any more.  
Besides, I don't think I'd like to caress _clay_. I'd much prefer skin.

God. I can't believe I just _put_ that! What was I thinking? Well, like I said, it's not like you're reading this.  
So there's really no point to this letter. I can rip it up, can't I? Get out all my frustration. I hope you don't mind that I borrowed some paper. Oh, and your pen – sorry.

And still, after writing all this down, I can't say _that_ line. Even though you won't read this, I can't put it. I _can't_. So, just know that I wish we were together. I wish that you and I would be together. But eventually your human life will rob you from me. I'm a demon; I'll outlive you… well, maybe not. Maybe I'd let go of life – maybe my heart would break – before I could be away from you too long.

Would we even go to the same place? Doubt it. You're too good for me, you know? I deserve to rot in hell after what I did today. After running away and leaving you. And sneaking back in again. I grabbed the stuff I needed to reply to you, but I don't actually have the guts to give this to you.

See? I'm not as strong as you are.  
Because I can't even say one sentence. Can't even _write_ it. It's just so hard… to get over my character, my principles, my reasons…

You think I hate you. You think I ripped your letter up. I didn't. It's here in my hand while I'm writing this. And I'm hurting. I'm hurting inside after the way I treated you. I hate to see you cry. But I _let_ you, and I was the _reason_ you cried. I hate that. No, I don't just hate _that_ – I hate myself, too.

So before this letter blows away, I'll end it. And I'll keep it along with yours. So I can look back and know how I felt about you… how I _feel_ about you if I ever forget – if we ever have an argument. Rather, not 'if' we have another argument, but 'when'. It's only a matter of time.

Remember: you're not a stupid human, Kagome; you're much, _much_ more than that.  
You're _my_ stupid human.

…Not really. I'll finish here.  
Just know that I'm missing you – even now. I'm sat on the well and it's bloody uncomfortable! I'm waiting for you to come back, so I can say sorry. Because I don't have the guts to go back and say it _there_. I'll let _you_ come to _me_. You might just think that I'm angry if I go to _your_ time…

And you're right. I do miss you when you're away. It's painful – ha, everything to me is painful! I _have_ to be with you, otherwise it eats me up inside. Know that. _Please_.  
And here, I'll try to write the words that you did. That you _can_ write, yet I _can't_. But all we can do is try, right?

Here goes…

I. Love. You.  
With all my heart.

Know that…

…Even if you don't think I have a heart.


	3. Sango

**Letters From The Heart III**

Finally, I've gotten round to writing the third letter. Sheesh, it took me ages to get off my butt and write. Here ya go…  
It's Sango's turn.

The Wind

I never thought I would be able to say this to you, Miroku. But after reading Kagome-chan's letter, I thought I would either cry or laugh. She didn't mean for me to find it, but you know how careless Inuyasha is with his things, and I just found it on the floor and read while he wasn't looking. I hope he wasn't hard on her about it – maybe she didn't give it to him and he found it, because you and I both know their relationship hasn't changed.

Will it ever change? I wait everyday for it, and watch them at every instant but nothing happens because they are both so stubborn and too shy to admit how they feel. Like us, I guess. That's the truth. You hide behind your perverted appearance and I pretend to be the warrior girl that no man can touch without losing his head.

But you? You're an exception. If any other man did what you do to me, I would probably kill him, no questions asked. But somehow it's all right when you do it. And that's because I love you. There, I can say it so simply in words and in my head. I don't even know why I love you, so don't even begin to make me explain.

I know it's not flattering to be told that someone doesn't know why they love you, and I'm sorry – I guess it's because I see the good things in you, whereas other people only see a sneering lech. That is a part of you, and I've come to accept that – just like Kagome has come to accept that Inuyasha is part-demon and he will always be that way. She doesn't care, it doesn't affect her. The same goes for me.

What _does_ hurt is when you flirt and propose to other girls that are _not_ me. You think I'm too afraid to love a man? You're right. I am afraid. Because the last time I loved someone so much, he was taken from me and possessed by the very person who killed his whole family – _my_ whole family. But you wouldn't understand that, would you? Having your love used against you, so you can't even fight.

That's why I'm afraid of being so close to you. Honestly, I don't ever think we'll beat Naraku. So I'm scared I'll lose you, too. I've made no commitments, but believe me – I've tried to keep a positive attitude, tried to think on the bright side, but it's just so hard for me.

I love you. So much. If I lost you now, I don't know what I would do. You're the air that I breathe. The wind that billows around me, that lifts my face when all seems lost and whips my hair about me – helping me know that the world doesn't just stand still, and I'm not the only one. _The wind_. That word always reminds me of you. It's the only word I can use to sum you up, except for your name.  
_Kaze_.

Like the curse that binds you. The wind: because you are a free spirit. You will never cease. You can be calm, you can be strong, you can be fierce, and you can be soft. But most of all, you will always be there. By my side.

I'm waiting for you, can't you see that? Don't take this as rejection, think of it as a promise. I'll hold on for you, until there is no fear of losing you. Be it in death or to another woman.

And promise me that you will wait for me, no matter how long it takes. Because you and I were meant to be. Forever.


	4. Miroku

**Letters From The Heart IV**

The fourth letter, and it's Miroku's. Hope you liked Sango's and hope it wasn't out of character! Let's roll tape!

Cursed

Sango. What is it with our friends and the desire to write letters suddenly? I saw Inuyasha writing one the other day – _writing_. And I saw him laughing at what he wrote, now that was a sight I'd never thought I'd see. Presently, I have not read what he's written, but I hope I'm soon to find out. I just need to distract him enough and search for it.

I wonder if you have written a letter, too. And it's strange because I don't know whether this letter-writing is going to force me to give this to you or not. It makes me feel better to talk to someone about my feelings and have them not be a book, like a journal. I can imagine you sat here, listening to, or reading, my thoughts and feelings. It lessens a load.

And all I can say is… I'm sorry. For the way I act, the way I am around other women – it's part of my nature, and I can't stop it. I guess you could say that was my real curse.  
The amount of times I have been close to holding you – telling you how I really feel –. Well, I'd probably have a swollen face thanks to your fascination with slapping me every time I show affection.

Is it because you're afraid to love?  
I wonder that all the time, and I know it's something to do with that – something to do with fear. You act strong, and you are brave, but inside you're still frightened, aren't you?

I want to wash away all that fear. I want us to be together – but the only way that will happen is if we defeat Naraku. Or should I say _when_ we defeat Naraku. Because it will happen, believe me. True, three generations (including me) of my family have tried and failed – but we have hope. What with Inuyasha on our side.

Okay, that sounds like we're using him – but that's just not true. I never thought I could have friends. I guess we all thought so, apart from Kagome-sama. She's so friendly and good with people that she has friends wherever she goes. The only reason we've come so far is because of Kagome. Without her, wouldn't we all just fall apart?

Knowing Inuyasha, I doubt he would be able to live without her. That sounds overly dramatic, but I can't imagine how he would go on knowing another woman he loves has died.  
I know I couldn't live without you.

That's the curse. To love, only to not be loved. To live, only to die.  
I love you, Sango. But is that enough? Because, you know, I'll probably die before we can be together. Maybe that's just… fate.


	5. Rin

**Letters From The Heart  
**Five

* * *

Rin-chan's turn. This is from Rin to Sesshoumaru, but written in the future – so she's about nineteen now. Sesshoumaru and Rin are a favourite coupling of mine so if you prefer them as parent/child, please don't flame.

* * *

Follow

I'm not a little girl anymore. You don't have to look away when I catch you staring. I know you think I'm forbidden but I'm not the child here – it's you. I've grown up now, and all that time you haven't once held me or spoke down to me like a father would. You've never wanted to be my father.

I remember once, when I was younger, many beautiful women fell in love with you. Kagura. Sara. Yeah, I remember them. And they both died. Is that the penalty of loving you? Because, if it is, I don't care. I've been with you for so long and I don't ever want to leave your side. I don't feel human anymore; I'm so used to being around youkai.

I don't know when I realised I was in love with you. I guess I always was. I wanted to make you happy – I wanted to make you smile. I still do. But most of all, I wanted you to open up a little and be less serious. You won't show any emotion, will you? Only hate and determination. No one is good enough for you, but at least I am beside you.

You're beautiful, you know? Like ice in winter, cold to the touch, yet dazzling beautiful. When you look at ice, it shines rainbows and is golden in sunlight – just like you. Frozen.  
But ice always melts. That's the hope I hold onto. One day, you'll melt – when you touch something warm.

I'm picking flowers for you now. You know it's a bad habit that won't fade. Twelve years after you revived me and I'm still as nature-loving as ever.  
The last time I brought you flowers you actually held them a while, thinking. That was when you asked me if I wanted to go back to the humans. No. No, I don't. I'm more comfortable being with you. Yes, I like Kagome-chan and Sango-chan, but they're not where I belong. Neither do I belong in a village, I told you that.  
You just nodded and turned away.

I understand your silence. You don't want to open up to anybody – you're afraid of caring for someone because caring means protecting and protecting means… what? _Loving_? You just don't want to admit you're becoming so much like your brother. And you don't want anyone to understand you, you don't want anyone to know you for who you really are.

You're like… water. You're just _there_. I can feel your touch and know you're there – touching you too – but I can't hold onto you. You just slip through my fingers. Like water, I need you to live.

So, which is it? Water or ice? Have you already melted or are you still as cold as ever? All I know is that I'll keep following you forever, Sesshoumaru. Because someday, when the snow melts, _I'll_ be the sun that casts winter away.


	6. Sesshoumaru

**Letters From The Heart  
**Six

In a giggly, childish voice, or in other words, Rin's:  
"_Sesshoumaru-sama! Here! It's your turn to write me a letter! Write me a pretty one, _please?"  
This is from Sesshoumaru to Rin. Despite what I put above, it's to an _older_ Rin; it's just that I can imagine her saying that. Mwahahahahaha!  
Rin's about nineteen now. Sesshoumaru and Rin are a favourite coupling of mine so if you prefer them as parent/child, please don't flame.

Kikyo (for Inuyasha) coming up next! I guess it'll be all right to vote on who you want after her. I'll write a list of who I'll willingly do. Be warned, the couplings will be MY choice. I may later do Ayame – when I have actually _watched _an episode with her in, eh heh.

Oh, and Inuyasha and Kikyo are a coupling I don't agree with – but I'll do by default. I feel so, _so_ sorry for Inuyasha where Kikyo is concerned – and vice versa – and I'm not gonna let Kagome get in the way of an OOC letter.

May later do Jakotsu/Bankotsu or Jakotsu for Inuyasha but this is WAY in the future. Andy maybe Jinenji. This list is just to give you an idea.

o Naraku (for Kikyo)  
o Shippo (for Souten, kawaii!)  
o Souten (again, for Shippo)  
o Kohaku (not exactly 'love' related, but family orientated – for Sango)  
o Sango (for Kohaku)  
o Koga (for Kagome)  
o Kagura (for Sesshoumaru)  
o Hoshiyomi (for Sukiyomi)  
o Sukiyomi (for Hoshiyomi)  
o Hojo (for Kagome)  
o Akitoki Hojo (for Kagome)  
o Inuyasha (for Kikyo)  
o Jaken (for Sesshoumaru – yes, please laugh!)

So! Onward to Sessh's feelings. Fluff 'written' by Fluffy – how good is that?  
PS: Incorporated a line from _Doctor Who. _Fans of David Tennant will get it if you've seen the 'School Reunion' episode.

* * *

The Light

I overheard Jaken say to you once: "If you don't understand his silence, you'll never understand his words." But, that – that was a lie.  
If you don't understand my words, you'll never understand my silence.  
You're anxious. I thought I knew why but I was wrong. It wasn't because you feel uncomfortable; it was because you felt _too _comfortable – I know that now.

I've also realised why my brother cares so much for humans. If they're anything like you…  
The first time I saw you smile, you'd been beaten. It made me wonder why _I_ could never smile and, for a moment at least, my pain went away. My self-hatred, my hatred for others. My hatred for the world that took my father away and reduced me to this – the elder brother of a hanyou.

You were always there, watching over me. When I saved you it wasn't just a 'test'. I didn't care about you then but I still didn't want you to die – it was like a nagging voice in my head. My father's words. _Do you have someone to protect? _

Yes. Yes, I do.

I remember once you told me you wished you'd died that day. I still don't why you said that. I'll never understand humans, as long as I live.  
It's strange. Ever since Naraku was defeated, the only person in my thoughts has been you.  
I… I do care about you. Not that I would admit such a thing out loud.

So, really, you see me as a hero – but I'm not. Not when I can't even smile. Not when I can't even say a word to you without regretting the words I _cannot_ say to you. I'm a coward. I don't deserve you.  
Still, I don't want you to return to the humans. I want you to stay with me forever. The problem is, you can spend the rest of your life with me if you want to – but I can't spend the rest of mine with you. Do you know how much that hurts now that I've realised that?

Sometimes I just wish Jaken would leave us alone – give us some peace. I want to be alone with you.  
My hatred of humans hasn't gone away. A foolish woman stole my father away – stole his life away – and he willingly died that miserable death.  
But I can't hate you. You're different. You're not human – not really.

I'll never give this to you, you know? Because this isn't even on paper, it's in my head. That's why I seem so different – so… emotional. You don't really know me, no one does. And I want it to stay that way. I don't want you to be ashamed of me. I want you to look up to me.

You're like the sunlight. You make the world so much better, make everything lighter. Everything is all right when you're there – though I never show it. In a way, I guess you've melted my heart. Just like the sun. I never thought I had a heart – I tried to keep it frozen whenever I was reminded of my own weakness. My father fell for a human, my brother fell for two. I was doomed to follow in their footsteps… and I have.

Can't you see, Rin? My heart's beating here. And I know you can hear it. You're falling asleep against my chest. I don't remember exactly how you got there, and I can't remember exactly where Jaken has got to, but I'm not complaining.  
Is it like a lullaby? To hear me breathe, and my heart beat in sync?

You whisper my name, and then I know. I would move mountains for you. I would do anything for you, anything you want me to. I want to change the world so much for you, so it's fit for me and you. Wouldn't that just be… perfect?


End file.
